Mary van Balen

Originally published in the Catholic Times March 10 2013 vol. 62:22



The fourth Sunday of Lent already? Impossible. I'm not where I thought I'd be. Spiritually speaking, that is. Each year I think it will different. I'll be more disciplined when it comes to food. Each morning will start quietly with undisturbed time for prayer. I won't succumb to temptations of playing Free Cell or Sudoku on my iPad.

This year I thought I had more attainable goals. In fact, I had but one: give myself "soul time." Time for my spirit to breathe and, as an old African story goes, catch up with my body. This goal seemed reasonably attainable four weeks ago. I have been forced to admit that some behaviors have a stronger hold on me that I thought.

For example, living alone, by nightfall I am often ready for some human "noise" in the house. I turn on the television, tune Netflix to reruns or maybe a less than riveting movie, turn away from the screen and drift to sleep, listening.

A perfect time for " soul room" I told myself on Ash Wednesday. Read More 

But now ask the beasts to teach you,/ the birds of the air to tell you;/Or speak to the earth to instruct you,/ and the fish of the sea to inform you./Which of these does not know/that the hand of God has done this? Job 12. 7-9 from Morning Prayer



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PHOTO: Mary van Balen
I take heart remembering that Blessed Pope John XXIII, in his autobiography, "Journal of a Soul", called himself a beginner when it came to prayer, always a beginner. Last night I went to bed in an agitated state, thinking about full time jobs and my lack of having one, the mess waiting to be neatly repacked in boxes, and final papers for the dissolution. I woke in pretty much the same state, so I shouldn't have been surprised when quiet prayer was anything but quiet. Read More 

PHOTO:Mary van Balen
"...Others fell on rich soil and produced their crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty..."

Today’s gospel reading is the familiar story of the sower taken from MT 13. Most often, when I encounter it, I think of the seed as God’s Word and of myself as the soil. Am I inhospitable ground? Shallow? Distracted? Of course, I want to be rich soil where God’s word can take root and bear fruit not only for me but also for the Kingdom. Today, however, I had a different take. Read More 

Photo: Mary van Balen
Thirty minutes of sitting quietly in God's Presence doesn't sound difficult, but when I am out of spiritual shape, I can't do it. Signs of spiritual laxity have been evident for a while: lack of energy and focus, interior turmoil, and dwindling hope. Yesterday I decided to do something about it.

First, I decided to let myself sleep until I was rested, a simple thing I have consistently neglected.  Read More 

PHOTO: MARY VAN BALEN


Make known to me your ways, Lord:
teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my savior.
For you I wait all the long day,
because of your goodness, Lord.
Ps 25, 4-5




How do we learn God's ways or discern God's paths? How do we learn Divine truth and allow it to guide us through life's daily challenges as well as times of life-changing choices?

For me, quiet prayer is the answer. I read and pray Scripture, practice Lectio Divina that is not only prayer, but also informs my writing. I try to use my gifts in service of God and others. But, even those activities, well intentioned as they are, are not the same as sitting quietly with my Compassionate Friend and being drawn deeper into the relationship that gives me life and purpose.  Read More 

PHOTOS: MARY VAN BALEN
For just as from the heavens the rain and snow
come down
and do not return there
till they have watered the earth,
making it fertile and fruitful,
giving seed to the one who sows
and bread to the one who eats,
so shall my word be
that goes forth from my mouth.
It shall not return to me void,but shall do my will,
achieving the end for which I sent it. Is 55,10-11

These verses are especially appropriate to read during this season when winter is slowly melting into spring. Snow is not always linked with bringing forth summer abundance, yet, the psalmist knows that snow not only protects dormant plants from extreme cold but also nourishes them when melts. Robert Frost wrote about that in his poem Spring Pools .

Rain and snow have a purpose: To bring forth life on this planet. God's word also has a purpose. Unlike rain and snow, God's word is not a thing. It is not a command or an instruction. God's word is the Divine Self, the emanation of God's being, not as much spoken as breathed onto the earth and into creation. It is what brought everything into being and what holds it in existence.

Sit quietly with these verses. Lay back, as if you were letting a soft spring rain fall on you and the ground around you. How sweet is that rain. And how sweet is the Word of God. Let it drench your spirit and soak into your soul. Let i saturate every inch of your being. Then, like a seed, softened until the tiny plant within wakes and stretches and grows, your deepest self will stretch and grow and become what God has intended for you to be. That is the purpose for which the Word is sent.
© 2010 Mary van Balen
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